Post by claire on Mar 22, 2011 21:34:24 GMT -5
DEAR DIARY,
[/color]March 22, 2011, 12:03 pm[/color][/font]
Sometimes I feel I'm not good enough for anyone. Theres times I don't feel beautiful. My life has been falling apart lately. There are the things to look forward to like Giselle's wedding and other things that began to crumble apart. There are many sides to me that not alot know about. I can be your sweet down to earth girl. I could be your dream girl. Or I can be your sexy pornstar. Whatever it may be... I don't think I will be good enough for you. Ever. Your just so stupid. What you could be searching for could be right in front of you. But, me and Chance will always be friends with benefits. I just want somebody to come and love me. Is that too much to ask for? I guess so. This world is very unfair.
I had a pregnacy scare with Chance's baby. But, he will never know that I like him more then a friend. I love him like a brother but, sometimes I think theres something more. He is always chasing after the wrong girls. I give him what he wants so I can have his attention. Truth be told I lost my v-card to him. He doesn't know that. I bet he doesn't even care. We've had sex quite a bit times. I wonder what Charlotte would think if she knew that. How many girls he's been with. And how many times we screwed. And that he almost had a kid. Hmmm... That's her problem, not mine. I wish the best of luck for her though. If she isn't careful Hollywood will eat her up and spit her out.
My mom's been sick lately. If she keeps lighting those cigs she is going to die of lung cancer. She's holding on by a thread. I love her to death. She means the world to me. I have no idea what I would do if she passed away. The thought just makes me tear up over it. I hope she stops soon. I hope everything will be okay with her.
Thats about it for right now about my life. It can get very confusing. I have my ups and downs. Now, I feel like i'm gliding on thin ice. I wish their was some things I wish I could take back. But, its too late. I need to talk to Giselle about some things. Thank god I have her. If not, I would probably be very depressed and about to jump of a cliff. Kidding.
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-Claire Renee Bennett<3[/center]